Iluminada: nov 29 1959 - june 30 2009

She died from a heart attack at work.
She was my best friend, my big sister, my little sister, my father, my keeper, my everything. I lived for her she lived for me. The only reason I live and survive in this pathetic, pointless world was so that I can have a pleasent life with her. I wanted to give her the world and to live the world with her. I wanted to show her the things I could do the things I could accomplish. Everything that I did was for her. I wanted a successful future so that I could give all my money to my mom and we could finally have a decent vacation and lose weight and go clubing and I would buy her so much pointless crap and spend all my time with her.
But you see I can still do all those things. I know she wont be here physically but she will be here spiritually. In my heart she'll give me the strength and want to live and move on and to do the things I want. Everyone knows how much I love her and how much she meant to me. She would be wanting me to move on and not to cry and to laugh at all the great things we did. I refuse to mope around and do nothing and be sad. My mom wouldn't want that. Now I have a new adventure to expreience (like mom would say) and a whole new journey to go through. I'm going to go through my life with my mom in my mind and keep going.

I want you guys to do me a little favor though. I want you all to go to your mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, whoever, and give them a big hug and tell them you love them. Because thats what I tell my mom everyday no matter what.

PS. Everyone has to call me Mama for now on got that? Unless you feel better with Gigi...